Nairobi
Where Beer is Warm, Showers are Cold, Left is Right, Right is Left, and you can fold-raise
09.07.2009 - 11.07.2009
My luggage made it to Nairobi, what a delight. I will splurge on a cab ride to the hotel to celebrate! Plus, I've heard so many carjacking and mugging stories, that I don't want to venture on a hail marry pass Matatu (individually owned bus) ride. I hailed a cab instead, as the driver was putting my luggage in the trunk, I took the shotgun. Why is there a wheel here? Oh right, they drive on the left here. Ok, switch. I arrived at my hotel. Dumped the luggage in the room. I always reward myself with a local brew after a long flight. This time it was the Kenyan "Tusker," named as such after the founder was supposedly killed by an elephant. The bartender asked if I wanted my Tusker warm or cold. Who drinks warm beer? It wasn't a funny joke, especially after a 15+ hour flight over 8 time zones (I may be totally making up the time zone thing). It turned out it wasn't a joke at all. Locals do drink their beer warm. I had a cold one instead and went up to my room. I was tired but wanted to get rid of at least the top layer of dirt off. The shower was cold, I sucked it up and took one. Later on I called the reception to complain, they said cold knob was for hot water and hot knob was for the cold water. In other words, left was right, right was left.
I slept, hoping the next day beer would be cold, showers would be hot and left would be left which would leave right with no choice, but to be right by default.
Nairobi, infamously nicknamed Nairobbery, lives up to its reputation. I have met a guy who have been robbed 3 times in two separate instances. Yes, the math is right. In one instance he was robbed twice. For the novice reader, here's how it works: He took a Matatu and as he was getting out of it he realized his phone was missing. He said he would not leave without it. Locals yelled at the usual suspects to give the phone back. The victim took his phone back and got out, only to notice his cash was gone. Yes, they somehow pickpocketed him for cash while returning his phone. Hats off, that's bold. The poker equivalent of this move would be fold - raise.
So this Canadian dude, who have been living in Nairobi for 3 months working for an NGO, suggested that we grab a beer later at the cheapest place: The "lounge" (think a room full of picnic tables on a dirt floor) of the police station. That's right. The lounge is in the police station. Not "near", "across" or "around" but in the station. The beer was cheap as promised but he did warn me, police station lounvge could be either the safest place to drink (because it's in the police station) or it could be the most dangerous place to drink (because it's in the police station). Simply because police are as corrupt as it gets. They could lock us up for any or no reason, and accept cash as bail. Who knows. I believed him. Being genuinely offered a warm beer makes you a believer.
I shipped out of Nairobi next morning.
Posted by Goneash 27.07.2009 14:37 Archived in Kenya Tagged tips_and_tricks
